question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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