Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
