What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
