This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
