Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
