Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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