I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
