Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize