we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
