marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
