Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
