Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
