If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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