i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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