I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
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