Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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