By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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