I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I need to stop coming to work sober
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize