just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
