lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
