Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize