We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize