So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
When did angry sex become our thing?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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