party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i think my cat just said my name.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
