i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
