Plan B is the new Plan A
babies were throwing up all over the place
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
