Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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