She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
