I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
