I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
