worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
NoShamevember. You game?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
