This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize