Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
