i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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