It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
