I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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