I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
