what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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