This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
