if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
