If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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