i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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