Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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