last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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