He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
