I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
