You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
