So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
