I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize