I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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