I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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