New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize