I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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