Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
