legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
