His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
