literally had 100 drinks last night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
