dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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