Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
