so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
